I’m 100% starting today!

Ok so it’s been a bad couple of days. From payday (15th) up til the 18th I ordered takeaway every day and I ate the last of it yesterday. Got my head on straight again.

I weighed in this morning at 12 stone 7 pounds. Still at a decent whack less than I was at my heaviest (13 stone 12 pounds). From tomorrow I’m doing my measurements again, not much point doing them at the end of the day. Still in my size 14’s (UK) which is great, though the waist is feeling a tad tight. Annoying that this was the weight I reached when going to the gym regularly but now I’m about an inch bigger all over. Definitely something to be said about the exercise, it’s just so hard to fit it in with my schedule. My options are, get up 2 hours earlier (5am) to go the gym in the morning, or go after working a 12 -14 hour day and a) be exhausted and b) end up wide awake when I need to be sleeping. I have most of what I’d need to work out at home, but it’s so difficult to motivate once I’m home for the day. I find it hard enough to motivate to do my work! After a full day of work and/or college I’m so mentally drained that the thought of doing more is really difficult. If I was in bed at 10 every night on the button, I could try for the 5am start. Once I’m exercising again my sleep needs will drop to about 7 hours anyway, maybe six as time goes on.

I just know I need to get my health back in line. It’s not just about the weight and appearance, though obviously it’s a huge part of it. I got my heart rate down to about 60bpm, I slept better, my overall health was better, my skin was great and my energy levels were amazing. I was less inclined to eat shit and my cravings all but went.

I’ve made the mistake before of calorie restricting too much, which goes fine for a few days and then I binge and set myself back to where I was. I need to make sure I’m a) eating breakfast, b)keeping to a minimum of 1200 calories a day and c) when possible having protein in my meals. I know what I need to avoid; hell if I could keep the weight off myself I know enough to be a personal nutritionist by now.

So, lots of protein and wholegrain carbs, lots of water outside of college (it’s embarrassing having to pee every 20 minutes when you’re in 3 hour long classes) and veg when possible. I’m going to aim for yoghurt and a banana for breakfast since I still can’t manage much in the morning and then increase my breakfast as I become more able to eat when I wake up.

I’ve signed up for the gym again, so tomorrow I’m going to try for a 5am start. Eat my banana and yoghurt and drink at least a pint of water before I go, get in 30 mins of cardio and do my mini circuit. Hopefully it’ll be super quiet! Come back and eat some eggs, maybe with a slice of toast.

I’ve made a suggestion to seesta, that I set a date, probably a year from now and achievable targets. If I don’t hit those targets by that date, I’ll have to do some sort of forfeit, to be confirmed tomorrow. Something that won’t ruin my life or be illegal, but enough of a deterrent that I’ll do my damned best with that hanging over my head. Something to think about on the days when I’m so stressed I can’t breathe and all I want is to binge on fried chicken.

I’m going to take a picture in my underwear every two weeks, and measure and weigh myself once a week. The direct weight loss will slow once I’m back in the gym, but I know from experience that my measurements will drop even if the weight doesn’t, so measuring both is crucial, keep the motivation up and all.

So today:

Weight: 12 stone 7.

Will weigh again and add measurements tomorrow, so I have a clear idea of both, and take first pic.

Skipped breakfast, just had a filter coffee with 2 sweeteners and soya milk.

Lunch was a wafer thin roast chicken sandwich with coleslaw on wholemeal bread and an instant coffee with 1 sweetener and soya milk.

Dinner was two poached eggs and half a can of baked beans on wholemeal toast with soya spread and another mug of coffee. Drunk a pint and a half of water, going to try for another pint before bed.

I’m feeling fine, energy is low but not more than normal. Bit of a headache but that was from college most likely.

No adverse cravings. In fact I just thought quite hard about Reese’s cups and felt a bit sick. Good sign! I don’t actually like that stuff when I’m not craving, it’s just it seems to go flying when I’m emotionally stressed. Being so tired doesn’t help. My body looks for a quick pick me up, leading straight to a sugar craving. Hopefully the exercise will help.

Resting bpm is 96. Last time my blood pressure was checked I was 138 over 90. Will get Mam to check blood pressure again when I next go down, probably for Christmas at this rate. Should see a significant difference by then anyway.

So overall ideal goals I’m looking to hit. 9 stone 7 pounds is the ultimate goal weight, though I may well have to revise that to anywhere between 10 and 10 and a half. The goal I’m going to set with seesta will probably be 10 and a half. I want to get to a size 10; that’s a definite goal. That’s when I was the most comfortable with my body and looking back through pics that’s when I looked the healthiest. I’d like to lose another half a stone by the new year as a preliminary target.

Each day is an opportunity. No one ever said that they regretted doing a workout!

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